October 2nd, 2009 by Kate Yaffe

Motivating Your Teenager.

With the compulsive viewing of the X Factor back on our TV’s in the U.K. I thought I would share with you my tips for giving your child the “X Factor”.

1. To start the ball rolling, ask your teenager this simple question:

“ If money was no object and you could do whatever you wanted when you get older, what would it be?”

You may need to push a bit here and not settle for the first answer. Keep going until you think you have something you can grab hold of.

2. Get your child to describe to you their perfect day when they grow older. Where will they be, what will they be doing, who will they be with? See what you can learn about them from this.

3. The first two questions will have given you great insight into what your teenager is interested in. Pick one and explore it with them. Explore their interests with them until you have what you and your teen believe are their top three.

4. Then ask this question:

“ What if you could make a career/business doing that all the time when you got older, how would that be?”

5. Then look at what makes your teenager unique, what is quirky or different about them. Let me give you a clue here, they are normally all the things that you would consider to be their weaknesses. When I was at school, I would be constantly told off for talking too much, I got told of for laughing and being what they called infectious, now I make a living doing that. What quirk could help your teenager in their future?

6. What are your teenager’s gifts? You will know this one. What do they do easily and effortlessly? What is so easy to them that others comments on it all the time. Do they have a gift to perform, to draw, be with animals, look after children, what is it? Ask them what they think it is and share your thoughts too!

7. So now look at the interest, what is unique about your teenager and their gifts, what do they make up? What picture are you gaining? Discuss all this with your teenager, see how they could all fit together. Sit down with your teen and make a vision with them, something tangible that they can hang on to. Kelly Holmes wanted to win the Gold, David Beckham to play for Manchester (although he has surpassed that). What is it for your teen – it could be just to meet their idol – what vision can they hang on to and how can they use what is unique about them to get there?

8. Get creative – have your teen think of a physical representation of this vision, is it an object. Can they draw a picture, make a collage? What is that they can look at each day to remind them of the vision?

9. Encourage them to dream, and I mean really dream, don’t limit what they want by what you think is possible. In fact, ask them what is bigger than the vision they already have. Encourage them to Live Loud and Play Big.

10. Take commercial breaks. You know how on TV we have breaks, well I have them in my life. I have a vision that epitomizes where I want to be, it is standing on a beautifully manicured lawn, looking up at a stately home that is a centre for teens and when I am feeling a bit low or need a life, I take a commercial break. I go in my head to this place, only for a few seconds and then I come out again. Encourage your teenager to take commercial breaks, I am sure they will come in very handy at school, in fact, they probably do it now – daydreaming!

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